Can you see me? I hope not.

 I have a big fear of being perceived. I’m not sure I can fully explain - its not merely being seen, since I’m 6’4” and nearly 400 lbs, its hard for me to avoid that, but I think it will become more clear with examples. Several times throughout college and grad school, my girlfriend and now wife and I would frequent restaurants with regularity, up until the proprietors took notice of us and started remembering us, or, god forbid, our orders, at which point we’d stop going to those places. Similarly, on Twitch, when I streamed, for a long time I did so under the name Thrower of Stones, but at one point I decided to rebrand under the name Dude Love. This ended up setting off several additional name changes, and now even though I don’t stream anymore, I change my name every couple of months whenever it seems people on Twitch seem to know who I am. The idea of people I don’t know knowing who I am bothers me for some reason.

I think its part of why I left social media pretty much entirely, and its definitely why I have never linked this blog to anyone I know in real life. I do post it on my defunct social media, and occasionally in discords I am in, but even that with hesitation. There is just something about being perceived I hate.